Spiritual evolution is a process, not a one-time event. Of course we all love having those big breakthroughs and aha moments. But like anything else, those moments fade and the proof of the breakthrough is in how you choose to show up in the world going forward. This process challenges us to be patient and kind to ourselves, which is a foreign concept to many of us. It takes time to unlearn and apply new concepts. How much time it takes depends on your willingness to change. The good news is this is not a race! You have all the time you need to do what you are here to do.
One of the Most Powerful Four Letter Words: FEAR
As we evolve, we cycle from resistance to release. We open ourselves up to new possibilities as we let go of limiting beliefs, then we push up against deeper levels of resistance. Many years ago, I went through cognitive behavioral therapy to try to better understand myself and my choices. I had a lot of healing to do. At times, I would rush home from a session with extraordinary energy. I couldn’t wait to share the new insight I had with my husband. After maybe the third or fourth time, he stopped me in my tracks and yelled, “ENOUGH!! Enough of this, Dee! When are you gonna be fixed? When is this gonna be over? I’m DONE listening to this! I just want my wife back.”
Fear. There was an enormous amount of fear in his words. My growth was triggering his fear of abandonment. By his own admission, he was terrified that the healing I was experiencing would result in me no longer wanting to stay in the toxic marriage. He was right, by the way…
Physical, Mental & Spiritual Fitness
We may wish that the growth process was linear and predictable, but that’s not how life works. Emotional and spiritual growth is not “accomplished” in one or two big breakthroughs. Just like getting in physical shape is not “accomplished” in one or two workouts! It’s unrealistic to expect it on a physical level… but it’s just as ridiculous to expect it on an emotional and spiritual level. I’m not saying it’s impossible… Some people go through life-changing, traumatic experiences that literally cause them to become a brand new person in an instant. However, if this is your expectation, you may find yourself feeling disillusioned.
It’s the same as going to the gym or committing to your home workout. We must keep at it consistently. We must go through the process of uncovering blockages and resistance on many different levels until our mindset is reorganized in a way that better serves us and the world around us.
Expectations Cause Most Regret
Setting specific expectations or a timeline for our growth sadly sets us up for a world of disappointment. Frustration may set in when you find yourself looking in the mirror, wondering why you made the same “mistake” again. You may think, “I know better than this! What’s wrong with me?” While these thoughts are common, they are not useful. It took decades for your ego to build a fort around your heart. The fort will not be torn down in a one-and-done scenario.
Your spirit – your Higher Self – is wise and will not allow you to see anything about yourself that you are not ready to accept, let alone release it. When the time comes, you will let it go, you will grow, and you will move on with your life. How do I know this? Because you’re still reading this post! That means you are either curious about change or willing to change. That’s all you need to get started. An open, curious heart and a willingness to let real love in.
What is the highest dream you hold for your life? What do you imagine is possible for you if you were to release any fear of disappointed or failure? What would you invite into your life if you knew it would be exhilarating, rewarding, and fulfilling?
May I learn to love myself enough to release expectations and embrace inner-peace.